Cheating on my husband with two men

by super

I’ve been married to my husband for 5 years and our marriage is full of life and love, the sex is amazing and he is very kind and supportive, i want to spend the rest of my life with him but I’ve made a huge mistake. For context my husband is really smart like sometimes it’s creepy, he can recognize patterns and use them to predict what will happen or what has happened and knows a little about everything, he doesn’t talk much except with me and close friends, he is a computer Engineer and works for a well-known company ( name withheld) and he has supported me and also helped me get a high paying job so I’ve never lacked anything in our relationship. I’m bisexual and he lets me sleep with other women but not men he said if it happens with a woman it’s fine and I’ve slept with a bunch of women and i always tell him and he says it turns him on but to clarify its not a fantasy thing he has never asked for pictures or to join. So a few weeks ago there was a party at work it was hosted in a hotel and all my colleagues were there i asked my husband to come with me but he said he was tired and wanted to sleep so I went alone. I have these two male colleagues they both have always flirted with me and made passes at me in the office but i don’t think much about it because they know I am married but they are both so hot, so as the night progressed after having a couple of drinks and I started dancing with them and they were touching and groping me, it felt good so i didn’t tell them to stop and it just happened so fast we went upstairs and I had sex with the both of them. I felt so guilty about it and i got dressed and went home when I got home i sat in my car for about 20 minutes trying to muster up the courage to face my husband (wasn’t planning on telling him) i went in and he was asleep i was so scared because my gut is telling me that he knows. The next morning he got up really early and told me that he is going on a work trip and has been gone for 2 weeks now. I think he knows and he is planning his revenge, he is the type that avoids confrontation so he prefers revenge and I’m so scared because I don’t know what he is going to do he is so unpredictable when he gets angry, no I’m not scared he’ll hurt me or assault me but he could make me loose my job and everything. I don’t know what to do. EDIT: I think he knows 😭 our mutual friend Sally was acting weird today, i went to see Sally and subtly started talking about my husband and his trip, Sally got weird and was just deflecting. I think I’m going to look for the hotel he’s staying at and go see him Update: I just got a 30 days eviction notice from our house, i tried to call him but he’s not picking up, i drove across two states to see his parents but they haven’t heard from him. Now i want to tell him what i did and i can’t find him, i can’t even get mad because i suspect that he knows.

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