An epiphany on loveless marriage

by super

Me and my husband had been fighting off and on for a year and then during one argument, I just snapped and said I was going home. It was no small ordeal because it was across country and I had to buy two tickets. One for me and one for my daughter. But my mom helped me pay for it so it wasn’t too much of a financial strain. Before I left, me and husband made up and then I went home. Y’all. I don’t miss him. I don’t miss him at all. And I mean, it’s only been two weeks but I keep forgetting to even call him to say goodnight. I met a friend tonight to talk and she asked me how much time out of our marriage were we fighting. It was most of the time. And I never noticed. Because I saw fights as disagreements that I just gave into because I didn’t want to fight. I’ve been starting up hobbies here and there to give myself happiness because I couldn’t find it in our marriage. And I still love him in a father of my daughter way. In a way that I am indebted to him for supporting us. But I don’t think I love my husband anymore. And I’ve posted on here before about trying to ignite a spark again. Where I am at now, though, I don’t even care if I love him. I won’t leave because I can deal and maybe I’ll fall in love again. And my daughter would be split from her family where we live now and I couldn’t forgive myself. I just needed to vent.

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