I could never, I don’t think, “be with him” full time

by super

Its the only time I have ever cheated on anyone. Its the only time I have ever done anything out of bounds in any context of life. Then again, I’m only 28. I’ve been having an affair with a man from work, who is an intermediate supervisor, for two years. The entire two years I have worked here. During that time, I also got engaged and married the man I was living with when I started seeing my AP. I love two men and hope I can keep these two lives separate for as long as possible.

I love him madly. I could never, I don’t think, “be with him” full time. So I would never consider leaving my husband for him. He is too intense and temperamental and emotionally high maintenance. Plus he is older and divorced and has a kid. But, I have an emotional and intellectual need to talk to him about everything (except my marriage). He is my mentor. He is special.

The sex is . . . I feel like its a spiritual experience sometimes. Sometimes its nasty and kinky, but for the most part, I just feel transported outside of space and time. Like floating . . . but more sweaty. Just one shiver after another going through my whole body. I’ve cried just from feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes my toes curl so hard and so much that my feet cramp up. I don’t know if it is adrenaline or taboo or just the strength of the attraction, but even after two years, I still shake all over when we are about to have sex. I’m short of breath and could soak through a ski suit. Once last month, I came when he just kissed my stomach. My pants were on. I had a full on orgasm involuntarily from a kiss on the tummy.

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